every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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