he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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