What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
