all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
