I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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