Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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