Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm like, not good at living.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
