My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
