Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
