and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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