so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
