I cockslap morals
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
