I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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