nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
