i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
