someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
