I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
