is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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