i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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