I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
sex in a hospital.. check
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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