thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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