i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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