Its about making memories worth repressing
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
