I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
where does the pee come out of this thing
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize