So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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