That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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