I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
