Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
