she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
