I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
