I molested 6 butterflies tonight
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
