Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
