Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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