you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
