I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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