Can Purell be used as lube?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
