His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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