did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
