rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
