well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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