i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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