I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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