Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
