Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
