Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You may now shotgun with the bride
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
