I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
