Barsexuality is the new black.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
