Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
