How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
