my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
