u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
