I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
how drunk are you?
Several
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
