I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I need moral support for this bender
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
