I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I cockslap morals
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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