Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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