U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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