good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
