the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
