just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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